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 Ok i finnaly broke down.

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Smash The Echidna
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PostSubject: Re: Ok i finnaly broke down.   Thu Nov 05, 2009 8:51 am

I can see it fine. Its there.

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PostSubject: Re: Ok i finnaly broke down.   Thu Nov 05, 2009 1:03 pm

So can I.
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PostSubject: Re: Ok i finnaly broke down.   Fri Nov 06, 2009 4:48 am

O-o'' Wah? i cant see it, all i see is a square. anyway ill sketch my new Zatic some other time, maybe today.

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Smash The Echidna
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PostSubject: Re: Ok i finnaly broke down.   Fri Nov 06, 2009 4:54 am

Square shows up when your browser can't support the symbol. It happened to me before too.

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PostSubject: Re: Ok i finnaly broke down.   Fri Nov 06, 2009 5:23 am

my fc has light powers :D he is a horrible i made him
i use them rarely

ANYWAYS on topic

I guess all there is to do is wait for SL to finish the sketch
:D I WANNA MAKE A STORY
I mean help with it
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Smash The Echidna
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PostSubject: Re: Ok i finnaly broke down.   Fri Nov 06, 2009 6:56 am

Good luck with the sketch. I'd like to see how it comes out.

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SuperLightning
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PostSubject: Re: Ok i finnaly broke down.   Fri Nov 06, 2009 10:27 am



i edned up coloring it BUT, heres New Ice Character design 1.

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PostSubject: Re: Ok i finnaly broke down.   Fri Nov 06, 2009 12:28 pm

Thats pretty good. Nice.

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PostSubject: Re: Ok i finnaly broke down.   Fri Nov 06, 2009 5:01 pm

Zatic The God wrote:


i edned up coloring it BUT, heres New Ice Character design 1.

holy snap that's adorable.
owo
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PostSubject: Re: Ok i finnaly broke down.   Fri Nov 06, 2009 9:32 pm

...
MY EYES

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PostSubject: Re: Ok i finnaly broke down.   Sat Nov 07, 2009 5:15 am

it's perfect

the story can be he makes snowmen to kill his enemies
or not :YES:
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PostSubject: Re: Ok i finnaly broke down.   Sat Nov 07, 2009 6:22 am

Making snowmen could be a special attack :YES:

Also, i wanna get more peoples opninons.

MORALE

Love it! = 3 MY EYES!! TEY BURRRN!!! ( of course joe would say that..)=1

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Last edited by Zatic The God on Sat Nov 07, 2009 6:27 am; edited 2 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Ok i finnaly broke down.   Sat Nov 07, 2009 6:25 am

Fishki wrote:
Zatic The God wrote:


i edned up coloring it BUT, heres New Ice Character design 1.

holy snap that's adorable.
owo

Hes only 8.

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SuperLightning
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PostSubject: Re: Ok i finnaly broke down.   Sat Nov 07, 2009 6:57 am

Ohh! iforgot to post this. http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AnimeCharacterTypes

It helps when designing characters, i read the whole thing yesterday.

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PostSubject: Re: Ok i finnaly broke down.   Sun Nov 08, 2009 9:07 am

I wanted a Quadruple Post, so im bumping it :)

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PostSubject: Re: Ok i finnaly broke down.   Sun Nov 08, 2009 9:12 am

Please. You're outrightly violating the rules. If it's your own thread, you can bump it with a double post after a legitimate amount of time (generally 12 hours at least) with an update that people should read.

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PostSubject: Re: Ok i finnaly broke down.   Sun Nov 08, 2009 11:14 am

Awe I spent 15 minutes telling you the story! and The PC logged me off!? Crap. Ok heres a Retype.

Story so far
_____________

New-Zatic Wakes up by his alarm clock and turns it off. Zatic Lives a Boring Day with his foster parents, and somewhere along the lines of 9o'clock. Zatic watches a story, a news program based on Sonic. he watches it everyday, and decides to run away. he sees two odd Looking Robots outside. He Freezes Them, and Shatters them. some shivering animals run off in the other direction. he laughs and appologizes to them. the BIG BAD EVIL GUY sends his daughter to take him out, he wants him quickly dealt with, because he has big plans and doesnt want him to be a thron in his side. She shows up infront of him and Kicks and Punches Fly at him like Lightspeed. He Tries to run. but she pulls out a staff and attempts to blow his feet up. he jumps it and shoots a Freeze Ball Backwards. it Hits her and She is Frozen. Zatic Looks backwards and his jaw drops. " MY OPPONENT IS A GIRL!?" Seince Her Father always wanted a son, the Girl Gets Enraged and Busts the Ice apart and and attempts to kick and punch him but he evades every one.
He Soon Jumps up into a tree and looses her. She looks around " Where did you go!?" Zatic Takes the moisture in the air and makes a snowball. He Throws it at her and It Gets her on the Side of her head. She looks at him and gets so enraged the snowball melts. She sees Zatic laughing and she is reminded of the many people that luaghed at her becuause of her poor performance in Her Fighting Classes.She Drops her Staff and she starts to cry. Zatic stops laughing and runs to her side. "whats the matter?" She looks at him astonished and full of tears. She Runs a short distance away and Yells at him "WHY SHOULD YOU CARE!? I DONT NEED YOUR SYMPATHY!" Zatic walks over. " Im not gving you Symathy, i think. I just hate to see people unhappy! emotion is good, if you dont let it go it eats at you from the inside." Zatic Smiles. " So, Whats the Matter?" She looks at him. " Im not ready. Thanks though"
She smiles and Zatic Notices "See?, now your getting somewhere!" She bends over at the sitting Zatic and Kisses him on the cheek. (being a Typical 8 year old) "Ahhh?" Zatic Frantically rubs it off. She meerley Laughs and Walks away and Zatic Looks at her "Hey, Where are you going?" She looks at him sadly and says quietly " Home...If thats what you would call it" Zatic Frowns. " Well you can join me!" She looks at him confused " Where are you going" Zatic Stands up and smiles " Im going to kill something Evil! Something Big!" She smiles twistedly and says, " i know just the thing to destroy, just..the thing" Zatic Sits down and Smiles even wider " Really? thats awesome!" He Takes out two sticks and puts marshmallows on them, " Here" She takes it and smiles, "Thanks, I Love these but i never get to make them often" Zatic Also puts sticks into a pile and starts running random stones together for a fire. She rolls Her eyes and uses her wand to create a weird colored fire. Zatic Looks at the fire astonished leans back, opens his mouth and yells. "Woah! awesome!". After they are finished with the marhsmallows, Zatic takes out a Sleeping Bag. and The Girl Frowns and Lies down on a patch of Grass. Zatic Frowns " Hey, You take it" he throws it, she catches it. "Thanks um, what is your name again" By the way, my name is |______|." Zatic gives her a confident look. "Well, My name is |______|." She walks Over to Zatic." Nice to meet you |______|." She Kisses Zatic on the Cheek again and Rolls Over in Her sleeping Bag. "Night" Zatic Rubs The Kiss off. "Night" and He rolls Over in some leaves,smiles and sleeps.

and ... Fade To Black! :D

Tell me whatcha think so far.

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PostSubject: Re: Ok i finnaly broke down.   Sun Nov 08, 2009 11:34 am

Was this a joke? In any way?
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PostSubject: Re: Ok i finnaly broke down.   Sun Nov 08, 2009 11:39 am

Me: Oh hi Zatic

Zatic: Hey.

Me: Wanna take this gun into the woods?

Zatic: Uh....

Me: and Just shoot it? Where people cant here screaming, or gunshots?

Zatic:.........LETS GO FOR IT! :D

THAT WAS A JOKE.

But i killed Him alright.

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PostSubject: Re: Ok i finnaly broke down.   Sun Nov 08, 2009 12:05 pm

>> could of made a better story

even though i never read yours
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PostSubject: Re: Ok i finnaly broke down.   Mon Nov 09, 2009 1:15 am

the ORIGINAL LSD wrote:
>> could of made a better story

even though i never read yours

lol.

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PostSubject: Re: Ok i finnaly broke down.   Mon Nov 09, 2009 11:03 am

Alright. Ill try to sketch the girl in the story i wrote, which is essentially one of his new partners..
Expect it by tommorow, (I Hope)

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PostSubject: Re: Ok i finnaly broke down.   Mon Nov 09, 2009 11:33 am

The story could use a lot more work. Although I'm assuming thats not exactly how you're gonna keep it. Anyway, Any luck coming up with a name for him?

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PostSubject: Re: Ok i finnaly broke down.   Mon Nov 09, 2009 12:39 pm

Smash The Echidna wrote:
The story could use a lot more work. Although I'm assuming thats not exactly how you're gonna keep it. Anyway, Any luck coming up with a name for him?

Whats wrong with it? I NEED TEH CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM. also. The Name, Im trying with no good results. Im trying not to use Generic Names like Blizard,Frost,Freeze, and Snowy. If anything, Sonic's Name wasnt Generic, and i dont want his to be. *contemplates* o.o *brain explodes* OSHT! O_O

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PostSubject: Re: Ok i finnaly broke down.   Mon Nov 09, 2009 1:10 pm

I didn't give constructive criticism because I wasn't sure if you were serious or not. If I'm gonna give an overall review, lets get down to business then.

1: Who is the Big evil bad guy? And why is he already trying to kill him? Wouldn't he try to lay low and find out who he is and if he really is dangerous to his plans before sending someone out to kill him? That would really make him suspicious especially since he didn't get killed.

2: Its quite obvious that the two are gonna fall in love sooner or later. Are they even in close enough age for that? And also, its kinda generic for someone to be laughed at/bullied/made fun of/etc in their previous childhood. I'd avoid too much of that. The same goes for someone having foster parents and deciding to run away for whatever reason.

3: How did the villain know he beat 2 of his robots so soon? Was he watching them? If so, Wouldn't he see him and his daughter getting along rather than fighting to the death?

4: A program on Sonic makes him decide to run away, huh? What exactly was on it that made him want to get away from his foster parents? And were the robots standing right outside his door or in his lawn? Or did he run farther and end up in a different location? Gotta make sure people know where events are taking place or it will confuse everyone.


Work on those things and this should work out fine in the least. The story has some potential, its not too late to change anything. Its time for some serious brainstorming!

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